It's been three years since you passed away and I finally feel like I can say you would be proud of me. I've felt like a complete let down for so long, letting my emotions override everything else, and not bothering to do anything positive with my life. I spent two years after you left us letting myself lose more and more of a grip of myself and my life. I hated myself for it but didn't know how to get out of the rut I'd got myself into. I didn't know how to be around people, my confidence was at an all time low and I completely forgot how to be happy.
Then I moved back to London. Back to the house I grew up in and around the people that made me the strong, happy person I forgot how to be. I got myself a job, a job I absolutely thrive in and is so perfect for me I can barely believe that I, the girl who had absolutely no belief in herself, am now set in a job that not only makes me so happy but will provide me with endless opportunities for my future. I spent the first few months pinching myself, wondering what I'd done to deserve it. But I now realise that all the tough times I went through, all the times I begged you to be there and you weren't, were a huge learning curve leading me to the biggest opportunity my life could present to me. Everything that happened was meant to be and I feel now more than ever that you have always been watching over me, and you'll be so happy to see now that I am doing so well for myself. So I hope you are proud. I think I can finally say that I am proud of me too.

I miss you Scott, always. xxx