I want you to fight for me. I need to know that this means enough to you to fight for. I really don't think it does.

So, my Uncle's wedding is this Friday and I'm the photographer. I am officially the most underprepared photographer ever - I haven't even got hold of a camera yet (though I am sorting that out in the morning), I haven't prepared what photographs I'm actually taking, and most importantly I have no idea what I'm wearing. I've never been to a wedding before so I'm not entirely sure where the medium lies between too casual and too dressy. Though to be honest I can't afford to buy anything new so I'm just going to have to wear a red dress I have, though I am slightly concerned it looks a bit much for a wedding, especially being red - not very subtle. Oh well, too late now. Me and my family will be heading to St Albans tomorrow evening to stay in a hotel for the night, so we're all there first thing on Friday morning to get prepared for each of our roles. I am feeling immense pressure because I have probably the most important role and I don't want to balls it up, but I'm sure it will be absolutely fine, and as it's a family wedding it's not like I won't know anyone there. I guess I shall see after Friday if I was a success or not! Regardless of how my attempt at being wedding photographer goes, I am rather excited to be attending a wedding for the first time. I imagine it be a beautiful occasion and I am looking forward to seeing two people start the rest of their lives together. And seeing my nephew in a little suit.

Well

Thank god that's over. A new year has begun and I am more than happy to see the back of 2010, four days in and I am already feeling thoroughly positive about this year and what it has to bring. There will be many significant changes this year, all of which will completely change my life and give me the fresh start I have so desperately needed. In only 5 months time I finish university, followed shortly after by graduation and the gaining of my degree. In 8 months I will become an auntie again; this feels me with the greatest sense of pride because the joy my nephew brings me is a feeling I have never experienced before, and being his auntie, being there to give him eternal love and care,  receiving his love in return, is without a doubt the most satisfying and proudest thing I have ever done in my life so far.
However, most excitingly, before any of this, in just 5 days I will finally be with the person I have been wanting to be next to for 5 weeks - it has been the longest, hardest wait of my life but it will undoubtedly be entirely worth it. A whole lot of shit has gone on as a result of me following my heart, but despite it all as soon as I see his face, feel what my heart does, I realise there is no way events could have happened any differently - for once in my life I needed to be selfish rather than lie to myself and everyone else. I am under no illusion that this will be easy, especially with the sheer distance between us and the fact we'll see each other maybe twice a month, but for once in my life I can see my future so clearly and I am in no way prepared to give this up to keep other people happy. This is our year.


2011, bring it on.